What makes dates fail

Dates have a naturally sweet flavor and can be used as a healthy substitute for sugar. They are also versatile and a great addition to many recipes.

It’s okay to be nervous on a first date, but if you can’t focus or get distracted, it’s a red flag. This is an indication that they are not interested in you.

They’re too eager

One thing that can really ruin a first date is if your date acts too eager. If they keep saying things like “I’m so excited to see you again” or “we’re going to hang out again soon”, that’s a huge red flag.

It’s also a red flag if they’re too eager to show you off to their friends or family. If they can’t respect their own boundaries, it’s unlikely that they’ll do so in a relationship.

They’re too talkative

If you’re on a first date and your partner doesn’t stop talking, that’s a bad sign. It could indicate they’re nervous and they have a large ego, or it may be a warning sign that they have control issues.

Similarly, if your date constantly complains or talks about their ex it’s a red flag. It indicates they’re not over their ex and they have a bitter side. It also shows they don’t respect your feelings and will try to control you.

They’re too touchy

Whether it’s snapping fingers for the waiter or getting overly vexed at a slow valet, being rude to staff during your first date is an immediate red flag. It suggests that your date may be impolite on a regular basis and isn’t respecting others.

Similarly, being overly affectionate on a first date could also be a bad sign. A guy who’s constantly trying to make out with you could be signaling that he wants more than just a casual encounter.

They’re too self-centered

When your date monopolizes the conversation and is more interested in their own thoughts than you, it’s a red flag. This person is consumed with their own needs and wants and has a massive ego that feeds on constant compliments, attention and accolades.

Try asking them questions about their interests, recommends Cloud. This will let them know that they’re not the only ones talking, and will encourage them to pause for an answer.

They’re too low self-esteem

If your date is constantly downplaying their accomplishments or acting like they’re the victim of everything, it’s a sure sign that they have very low self-esteem. They’re not going to change their ways and a second date with them is likely to be disappointing.

Hilary Silver describes this as a “one date wonder” syndrome, and it’s often because of something more than lack of chemistry or bad table service.

They’re too needy

When you’re needy, it can feel like your dates are constantly trying to push you away. This is especially true if your date seems to be in a relationship, or if they have some other commitments going on.

People who are non-needy are satisfied with the things they have, and they’re not looking for a partner to complete them. They know that no one can fill their emotional needs.

They’re too open

Talking about the good and bad things in your life can be a great way to build people up, but not if you’re complaining or criticizing others. A negative attitude is a real turn-off. Clara Artschwager, dating coach, suggests bringing your “full, messy, imperfect self” on dates and sharing the things that are presently top of mind for you—but not so much that you reveal too many red flags early on.